Today I want to talk about some secrets to being a vibrant woman.
Before I dive into this topic I want you to know that on my website at EmpoweringNRG.com you will find a complimentary report called the 5 Secrets to Being a Vibrant Woman… which you can pick-up if you want to have this information to keep, read over, share with others, etc. It’s not exactly what I’m going to cover today, but it’s close.
Being a vibrant woman is not always easy. It requires you to be proactive, to take the lead in your life and to live mindfully. Vibrancy is more than a healthy body (although the two are closely connected). It also requires you to be self-aware, to be willing to listen to what your body is telling you and to tune-in to the many messages coming your way from a higher power.
This might sound overwhelming and even a little bit scary, but in truth it is simply about living your life in the driver’s seat and ensuring that you are controlling what you can, accepting what you can’t and using your wisdom to know the difference – perhaps you’ve heard this before (it is the Serenity Prayer after all)?
Secret #1: Take full advantage of the moment
This is not a new idea at least not for several years now, yet it is still something most of us struggle with.
When you’re using a moment to recharge yourself, you want to awaken all of your senses…go off auto-pilot…quiet your mind…and be firmly grounded in your body.
This, is not always easy to do.
So let me share an example of how I might do this. I love green tea so when I sit down with a freshly brewed cup of tea I will often take a moment and empty my mind of all else. I’ll breathe in the smell of the tea, feel the warmth of the mug in my hand, gaze at the colour, taste the full flavour (run it over my whole tongue), even tap my ring against the side of the mug (for some reason I really like that sound). I’ll visualize a chord going from my tailbone down deep into the earth and anchoring me there.
If possible I’ll even take this a step further. Because I love the sun and the feel of grass beneath my feet, I might take my cup of tea outside, stand on the grass, close my eyes and soak in the sun’s rays. While I’m doing this, I hear the birds, the breeze in the trees, feel the grass under my feet, smell the earth, tea and grass…
I call this: In the Moment…for a Moment…and the more moments like this I create in a day the more vibrant I feel.
Now, in my opinion it would be impossible to always tune in to everything. In fact, while recording this podcast, to take full advantage of the moment, I purposely tune out other things in my environment. My eyes flit from my notes, to the time, to a window which I stare out without seeing because I’m deep into what I want to share with you.
Unless my dogs bark or a phone rings, I’m pretty much oblivious to the sounds in my room, except for anything I hear through my headset.
My point is, sometimes to really be in the moment, you need to focus in fully on what you are doing, without distracting yourself unnecessarily.
So the key pieces to taking full advantage of the moment:
Know what you need to be successful and focus in on that, remove distractions and quiet your mind of any extraneous life draining things – like worry, angst about an upcoming event, your to-do list/overwhelm… these things you can do nothing about in the moment – so use your power to help you make things happen in the here and now.
When it comes to living a vibrant life, tune in to your senses as often as you can, consciously shift off autopilot several times a day (especially when those little pleasurable moments arise), quiet your mind of all the chatter and do what you need to do to get fully grounded in your body.
When you put your total focus on the moment itself, you will get more done, do better work, feel more connected to the person you are spending time with and let your radiant self shine through.
Secret #2: Learn how to release stress and rejuvenate yourself on the go
Stress has become a big deal for most of us. So many people are experiencing major health issues, burnout and break-downs from stress. It affects how we parent, how well we communicate and our ability to perform.
However, stress also motivates you to get things done. It lets you know when you are taking on too much and it can help you out when extra stamina is required.
Stress arises every time you try something new, including a new job, moving, holidays, trips, pregnancy, trying a sport or learning a new computer game.
Stress is so closely connected with every aspect of your life it makes sense that you learn how to live with it rather than eliminate it altogether.
The problem is, you may not know how to tune-in to your stress level and listen to what it has to say.
For example, you might be stressed because of a deadline at work. You know this is stressful for you, but you also enjoy your job and recognize this as part and parcel of what you signed up for.
Now let’s say you get a call from the school that your child’s eye is looking pink and you must come and take him to the doctor to make sure it is not the dreaded and very contagious pink-eye.
Suddenly you are far more stressed. You are not really concerned about the pink-eye, because he seemed healthy enough this morning, but you are very concerned about your deadline and the fact that you now have to create a plan to deal with this situation. Maybe you’ll even have to leave work and find a walk-in that will see your child…which means you might spend half the afternoon in a waiting room!
Not to mention, the school has somehow made you feel dirty – by suggesting your child is contagious. You suddenly realize your child is probably super anxious, because he hates being singled out in any situation… and what if you’re wrong and he really is sick…what kind of parent, ignores their child’s puffy red eye just because they are busy at work?
Can you see how stress, when you are already stressed, tends to create excess worry? How the mind takes over and starts you second guessing yourself?
The call from the school on its own might not have been a big deal, but when added in with the rest of your circumstance and a run-away brain…trouble arises.
In the handout above, I tell you how to use an elastic to help you understand your stress level, find your sweet spot and how to keep the two in check.
The simple answer to dealing with stress is to become aware of how much stress you are dealing with, learn where your sweet spot is (the amount of stress that motivates you without hurting your health), and then learn a variety of great tools to help decrease the negative effects when your numbers starts to rise.
Here’s some tool examples: Deep breathing; a daily ounce of dark chocolate (it burns off cortisol – really!); vitamin C also burns off cortisol; mindfulness; meditation; yoga; walking barefoot on the grass; petting your dog, cat, ferret…; time with friends; quality hugs; laughter.
Become aware of how stress feels in your body – where you feel tension; how far your patience level drops – so you can take action and spend more time in the sweet spot.
Secret #3: Become aware of foods that strengthen you as well as those which steal your glow
You truly are an individual especially when it comes to what fuels you the best. I don’t do well with dairy, gluten or beef, but that won’t necessarily be true for you. Learning your needs is an important part of self-awareness.
There is so much information out there today on what is good, bad, dangerous or life enhancing when it comes to food. The problem is many of these sources contradict each other making it hard for the average consumer to know who to believe. My answer is to take charge and figure it out for yourself.
There are some simple tests that can be done (using hair, blood or your muscles) which can give you a good idea of what weakens or strengthens you. Or you can put on your detective’s hat and try an elimination diet to determine some of the bigger culprits.
If this sounds like too much work, start by noticing what you are eating and how much of it is processed versus whole foods. Rather than buy a can of peaches off the shelf – get the real deal (fresh) in the produce section or farmer’s market. Stay away from foods with names on their ingredient list you can’t pronounce or wouldn’t normally be considered edible.
At the very least, avoid the main dangers that even the contradicting ‘gurus’ seem to agree on, such as: trans fats, high fructose corn syrup, MSG and fake sweetners. A quick search on the internet will give you lots of information on these topics if you want to know more before diving in.
This is not about being super stringent concerning what you eat and drink. It’s about becoming aware so you can make decisions that will help you feel vibrant and healthy most days. Overtime, awareness itself will start to guide your decisions allowing you to put your energy into enjoying your health.
I share a trick for testing for food sensitivity as well as one for reducing the processed food in your life in the handout.
Secret #4: Keep Oxytocin flowing
In the handout, I mention that Secret#4 might make you blush…and in the report it might. On this show, I’ve kept the conversation PG so I don’t get in trouble with any of the hosts, but if you wonder if certain intimate acts fall into this category, they definitely do.
Oxytocin is a hormone that makes you feel connected to others. It feels good when it flows through the body and your body is meant to have a lot of it. Women have far more receptors for this delicious little hormone to adhere to which means it sticks with us for a longer amount of time and helps us be vibrant.
So how do you get oxytocin flowing? There are a lot of ways, but I narrow it down by suggesting people think pleasure and everything they associate with that word. Pleasure and oxytocin often arrive at the party together.
Ways to get the oxytocin flowing:
Heart to heart hugs; shared laughter; meaningful conversation and connection to others; gazing at your baby, quality time with your kids or pets – even being really authentic with someone – tapping into your passions can also get this hormone flowing.
A tool I love to teach –is the Oxytocin breath – listen to the podcast or pick up the handout to learn how to do it.
Secret #5: Ask for what you need
Being assertive or being able to stand up for yourself without attacking others or putting them down is often involved in asking for what you need. So many people take an aggressive or passive-aggressive stance when things aren’t going their way (or they fall back on manipulation tactics like ‘guilt’ to get what they want) rather than use their assertiveness skills.
This is not what I mean by asking for what you want.
Boundaries also come into this conversation.
Knowing what’s important to you – your values and expectations, and knowing how to express your needs to others are both part of asking for what you need.
So many people struggle with boundaries and wind up in a co-dependent relationship where you no longer remember where you end and the other person begins. Saying Yes when you really want to say No; which results in over commitment, or getting locked into doing something you really don’t want to do…all because you didn’t want to upset the apple cart by saying no to someone.
You NEED help!
Many females struggle with the idea of asking for help in fear it makes them look weak or sound needy. We’ve been taught to think we should be able to do it all – work, raise kids, volunteer, be a great daughter, help out our neighbour in distress…
You can do it all – but that doesn’t mean you should! Asking for help can strengthen your relationships; it models great skills; and it can make your ‘to do’ list much more doable.
Ask for the help you need.
The more self-aware you are and the clearer you are with all the people in your life, the easier it will be for you to tap into your own vibrancy and shine your light for all the world to see.
So that’s it. 5 secrets you can use to increase how vibrant, loving, connected, open and wonderful you feel. These aren’t the only secrets – there are plenty of other things you can do, but these are key areas that will give you the greatest return for your efforts.
So, if you are ready to step into the driver’s seat of your own health and vibrancy (a wonderful thing to role model, by-the-way) give at least one of these a try, then head on over to Empowering NRG on facebook or use the contact page on my site and let me know how you did!
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Interested in the names & products we talk about on the show? Check out our Vibrant Mentions Pinterest Board!