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Break Free of Parenting Pressures;
Embrace Your Natural Guidance

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When we believe something is natural we think it should be easy.  When we think something should be easy we tend to beat ourselves up if we don’t have the answers or don’t do it well.  This opens the door to self-doubt, uncertainty, harsh judgment, and second guessing.

In Break Free of Parenting Pressures, author and parent educator, Debbie Pokornik, urges parents to throw off the shackles that come with this way of thinking and tune into the inner wisdom required to enjoy and excel at this task. Very little about parenting is truly natural, meaning personal development and a willingness to learn or adapt will always be required.

Written in a gentle, friendly style, this book shares stories about the author’s personal parenting adventures, focusing not only on her successes, but her “moments of learning” as well. She provides insight into where our current skills and strategies come from and enlightens us on how we might adapt them to ensure they are meeting our parenting goals.

“The parenting experience is unique to each of us,” Debbie says, “and I believe all parents will benefit from support at some point in their parenting journey.” Awareness, open-mindedness, a willingness to practice and adaptability are all important pieces of the parenting puzzle and this book provides plenty of tips and exercises to help parents do all of these things. The book concludes with a chapter on self-care focused on helping parents de-stress and take stock of what they can realistically handle in their lives.

“I really hope readers of my book come away feeling tuned into their natural abilities and confident they have what it takes to do this job. There is no one way to parent and I’d love to remove a lot of the self-doubt parents feel so they can fully enjoy their journey and build strong loving relationships as a result.”

Parenting is not really natural, but becoming a parent often is and that is an important distinction to understand.  Nature doesn’t give us tasks we are unable to handle. This means despite your set backs, questions and uncertainties, you are the perfect person to parent your child. So get set to shift your parenting perspective, embrace challenges as they arise and open yourself up to making this journey your own.

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Fascinating Authors
Author Profile
Guest Blog
Favourite Chapter

Full article: Your Life Unlimited interview

Excerpt: Have you ever felt like the worst parent in the world? I know I have.  I’ve read the books, studied the masters, emulated my mentors and still I find myself screwing up on a regular basis. So when I have the chance to learn another tool or two about parenting, or indeed about improving any relationship, I will jump at the chance.

Enter author and parent educator Debbie Pokornik whose new book  ’Break Free of Parenting Pressures’ Embrace Your Natural Guidance, is hot off the presses. |Today was my lucky day to interview her on Your Life, Unlimited’s CJOB radio show (www.cjob.com audio vault- April 30, 2010  8pm)

This easy to read book gently guides you, forgives you for mistakes and invites you to nurture the skills you have and tweak the ones that aren’t working so well.  Written like your best friend is talking to you, rather than a hard hitting ’expert’ dictating, I think you will enjoy this book, too!

Debbie talked about how our ‘vision’ of parenting before we are parents very often differs from the parenting that we are actually doing, causing guilt and frustration. Aligning the type of parent you thought you would be to the kind of parent you are is paramount.

Book Reviews:

I was drawn into Break Free from Parenting Pressures from the start. Ms. Pokornik does not berate people for not being perfect parents. Instead she offers support and guidance. She draws from her own experiences and mistakes(!) as a parent to help others relate to their children. I enjoyed her down to earth writing style as if she is talking to personal friends. One great feature about the book is the “Free Parenting Tips” she has scattered throughout the book. These little nuggets of wisdom include such gems as “We are our own worst critics and often make parenting tougher than it needs to be.” Read full review: The Thrifty Things

I loved this book. I loved it for many reasons. For one, it’s not just a book, it’s kind of a parenting NOTEBOOK. It talks about a lot of things that parents need to know, and a lot that parents could use some looking over from time to time. The chapters contain exercises, debbie’s personal stories, thought-provoking articles, and suggested resources so enthusiastic readers can use this book to guide themselves toward major changes. She also includes fun, realistic, easy and effective tips, which she calls FREE parenting tips, for those who prefer the ideas without any explanation at all. …This woman is just so smart. It is amazing how much I thought I knew about parenting, but she re-works it into an even better perspective. Teaching parents how to be great listeners, great advice givers, and how to manage the anger that sometimes eludes parents when their children do something unacceptable and know is out of bounds.  See full review: Lime Green Dreams

…Also listed throughout the book are other helpful tidbits. There was one that I liked in particular, In Case of a Power Struggle-Emergency Guidelines. She suggested that you take the list and copy it and put it somewhere you could see it (and possibly use). Duly noted!…I really think that every parent should read this book. No matter where one is in their life with their kids, there isn’t anything that we cannot learn. Whether you have 3, 2, or even 1 kid, there is something new you can learn. Remember, ever kid is different and you will have different experiences with them. I enjoyed it and feel as though you will too. See full review:   Allergy Kid Mom

Simply written and full of practical methods to make parents feel less anxious and more in unity with their children and themselves is why I liked “Break Free of Parenting Pressures by Debbie Pokornik, BA, BSW. The book is written like a journal. There are blank pages for journal entries. Each entry is pertinent to a particular point made by [sic] Dr. Pokornik in an earlier chapter. What stood out to me is the importance of a parent remaining positive. Children can see and feel tension. This puts their guard up. Then, our guard goes up further over something as small as a cookie for dinner. Read full review:  Read with Tea

Personal Testimonials

“I have found the book [Break Free of Parenting Pressures] to have a very reader friendly format and a wonderfully non-judgmental personality to it that seems to flow from the various personal anecdotes which casually provide insights to the day to day challenges we all face.  While the book’s title suggests the focus is to allow one to “break free of parenting pressures”, the universality of the examples and insights provided within, could just as easily be applied to one “breaking free of life’s pressures.”  Thank you for the obviously great effort that you have put into writing the book, all your work is readily evident on reading it.”

Dave Mutrie
M.D., C.C.F.P. (E.M.), M.A.
Thunder Bay Hospital – ER
Thunder Bay, ON

“I really enjoyed your book [Break Free of Parenting Pressures]. Not just because you gave me helpful, simple ideas, but because you really emphasize trusting your inner guidance.  It’s a book that can really compliment any parenting style. Anything that can strengthen a person’s trust in their own feelings is truly a gift to society.”

Veronica Hepburn
Mother

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